Humor Me

In one sentence
one stare
belief of falling walls
brought to the front
of the song
Humor me for a brief moment, oh God
Help me become
unaware
for tastes of regret
on my travels
so long
Wrap your hands around the life of me
show no mercy
for my struggle
to be free
Death by fire
to my un-lassoed mind
For only in Your humor will I find
a path into the bluest passion
a streak of desire
in my fashion

Posted by Penny Rene at 11:26 AM | Permalink

Gypsy

I feel ready
but I know it’s just today
I’m nursing anger
and I hope it goes away
I’ll soon be taking flight
no one thinks I’ll be alright

but that’s the nature of the gypsy
the sweetness of the fall in me
undiscovered depths
a chilling kind of mystery
a goodbye girl
reluctantly free

no one noticed
but I changed my whole routine
and when it’s final
they’ll miss every in between
I’ve wished upon the stars
but wishing doesn’t get us far

it’s the nature of the gypsy
the sweetness of the fall in me
undiscovered depths
a chilling kind of mystery
a goodbye girl
reluctantly free

you know I love you
and it scares you to the core
in the scope the selection
the other’s are a bore
it feels cold as ice
how nothing new is ever twice

I’m not funny
but you laugh anyway
I’ve got feelings
But I don’t wanna say
I take what I can get
“Cause no one’s really loved me yet

Posted by Penny Rene at 10:32 AM | Comments (0) | Permalink

If

if I hear another siren
if I see another homeless man
if I know another orphan
I might die where I stand
if I’m shown what hunger is
if I hear another battered wife
if that’s a neglected kid
I won’t get past this night

I am overwhelmed
with this responsibility
I am disappearing
and too ashamed to scream
I am hoping for a change
and praying for a cure
if I say love will overcome
I must be sure

if you’re on your way out
if you’re looking for escape
if it’s a temporary fix
I will turn and walk away
if you think that I can save you
if you need someone who’s strong
if you want a happy trophy
you’ve read this girl all wrong

I am overwhelmed
with this responsibility
I am disappearing
and too ashamed to scream
I am hoping for a change
and praying for a cure
if I say love will overcome
I must be sure

if ignorance is bliss
than you’re gonna be alright
if you look the other way
you’ll never have to fight
if peace is my goal
and pride is my drug
I must be absolutely sure
before I proclaim the way of love.

Posted by Penny Rene at 04:16 PM | Comments (0) | Permalink

More

Rhythmically tangled again
Forget the time, myself and my plans
As you move me into small devotion
I draw ultimatums in the sand

There’s fire in your name and in your touch
The pastor always said that I should run
When the devil pokes his head into my corner
I only smile back and say “I’m done”.

You can hate me for not being who you dreamed
And I can cry you’re not who I thought you were before
But every time I say I’m never going back to you
It only makes me want you more. I want more.

The ocean comes on the beach while day is sleeping
And she never asks why or tries to fight
The way the earth moves around it’s axle
Well, no one ever wonders if it’s right

While we clock the stars and kiss the rain around us
We claim our bodies’ ignorance of truth
But if we cannot trust what stands right before us
I wonder what are we supposed to do?

If we think our days really are unending
When we live like this, what is the message we’re sending?

You can hate me for not being who you dreamed
And I can cry you’re not who I thought you were before
But every time I say I’m never going back to you
It only makes me want you more. I want more.

Sometimes I hate you for being what I need
Though I doubt I am the girl I was before
Any every time I say I’m never going back to you
What I really think is more. I want more.

Posted by Penny Rene at 04:10 PM | Comments (0) | Permalink

Why I Believe In God

Sometimes I wish to die.
Sometimes I am so weary
And full of sadness and regret
That I pray God will have enough mercy
To let me die
Right then.

I think about Jesus and AIDS and children and success and the pain of it
That I know will never end for every one of us.
And I don’t want to try anymore.
I realize there is no such thing as fair.
No justice.
And death, because I don’t really
Know what it will bring,
Seems full of possibility. It feels better.

But God has not yet taken me in the middle of a sleepless night. In fact,he has never uttered one reply to my only request.
He is so silent that I wonder why I ask HIM..
Anything.
But I guess it is because I am not yet so crazy to deny obvious facts.

The sun still rises.
Water is wet.
I cannot fly.
He is God.
However strange, however silent,
He is still the one to ask the questions
To which I
Believe I deserve the answers.

Posted by Penny Rene at 10:29 AM | Comments (0) | Permalink

I Am Not

I am falling into the void that you call home
I am alone
I walk the streets of you and them and all big men
it’s so wrong
paved with blood and sweat and watered with the tears
of fools like me
who turn their heads to look away and cry soft
but still believe

I am not
part of this elitist safety game
that turns miracles into explanations.
I am not
one of the well meaning orphans
who make faith in god sound like a chore.
I am not
here for fashion trends and kids
whose parents will not save them.
I am not
willing to hide all my sins
and market Christ like He’s a whore.

I have head a people crying out for affection
so alone
We hope to laugh, need to rest, want to matter
It’s not wrong
With shovels in hand we slave to dig our wells
that won’t deliver
While ghosts of our fathers stand aside and pray we find
that river.

Posted by Penny Rene at 04:07 PM | Comments (0) | Permalink

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